I was moved this week to reprise a bit from Dana Carvey’s 1995 stand-up comedy special, Critics’ Choice, in which he roasted the popular false conspiracy theory of the day: that the iconic National Football League veteran O.J. Simpson was framed for the gruesome 1994 slash-and-stab murders of his ex-wife Nicole Brown Simpson and her friend Ron Goldman. O.J. is African American and the victims were Caucasian. It was clear then and is clear now: O.J. did it. But his superstar legal team persuaded enough people to believe a wall of disinformation, obfuscation, and mendacity to win a not guilty verdict.
[DANA CARVEY:] “Well, we had to do it sooner or later: Let’s talk a little about O.J., please, because I have to get it off my chest. … Now, they say he was framed. (smirks) OK. (audience laughs) They say he was framed. Now, I know, I’ve been watching. I know about Mark DER FURMAN! (executes the finger mustache and Nazi salute in reference to the racist investigator accused of planting evidence against O.J.) He’s an idiot. But if you look at it technically, he just couldn’t have acted alone. There’s just too many things, too many people would have had to be involved.
“And it’s hard to comprehend that spontaneous conspiracy: Five-thirty a.m. at South Bundy [site of the murders outside Nicole’s front door], someone walks up to you and says: ‘We’re framin’ O.J. You in?’” (long pause)
[CARVEY, AS YOU:] “Framing O.J.? I could go to prison. I’d risk my entire career. And I REALLY like O.J. But you’re right, it’s just too good. I’m in. Pass it along.”
[CARVEY, AS 1st CALLER:] (normal-pitched voice) “Framin’ O.J. You in?”
[CARVEY, AS 2nd CALLER:] (high-pitched voice) “Framin’ O.J. You in?”
[CARVEY, AS 3rd CALLER:] (low-pitched voice) “Framin’ O.J. You in?” …
[CARVEY, ON SHORT-WAVE RADIO:] “To all our ships at sea: We’re framin’ O.J., we’re framin’ O.J.” …
[CARVEY, AS JAPANESE OFFICIAL:] “You’re going to frame O.J.!? But I REALLY like O.J.: 2,000 yards, Buffalo Bill. But you’re right, it’s just too good. We’re going to FRAME HIM!” …
[CARVEY, IN HIS BEST PRESIDENT BILL CLINTON DRAWL:] (ring, ring) “You’re gonna frame O.J.? Well, hell, I really like those ‘Naked Gun’ movies. But you’re right: It’s just too good. I’m gonna put at your disposal the Marines, the Navy, the CIA, and the FBI, because we have got to get that son-of-a-bitch.”
[CARVEY AS CARVEY:] “Now, maybe he was framed, I don’t know.” (smirks)
(Carvey, Dana; Critics’ Choice [stand-up comedy special]; 1995.)
Mr. Trump believes the election was stolen from him. Well, at least he believed that when the election was called, Nov. 7, by all the major networks (an unofficial but traditionally inarguable determination). Then the recounts and vote audits came in. Then Mr. Trump’s legal team lost all 59 of its election-challenge cases in court. Within a few weeks, Donald knew he had lost but decided to keep up the charade, which he believed would best position him for future business deals or possibly another presidential run in 2024. Then after several weeks of that, he reverted to the darkest depths of his narcissistic pathology, believing his own conspiracy of mendacity.
Which is where we are today. And depending upon the poll, approximately 50-70% of Republicans believe Trump believing himself: that he won the election — by a lot — but it was stolen by oodles of dead Democrats voting for Joe Biden, multiple times, and deep-state operatives secretly carting off millions of Trump ballots in maintenance trucks. To be destroyed in Venezuela. By the ghost of Hugo Chavez.
Note that many of the down-ballot Republicans on those same stolen ballots won their races. Wait. Wha?!
To recap, Democrats stole the presidential election from Donald Trump. And government agencies and branches, all controlled by Mr. Trump from top to bottom, let them do it — even though they REALLY like Donald.
Federal judges conspired against Trump to get him out of office. These include the hundreds of conservative judges appointed and seated over the past four years, about whom Donald and Mitch (McConnell) regularly brag. No, wait: The 59 election-challenge cases and lawsuits brought by the president’s legal team were all shot down, by judges across the political spectrum.
The Supreme Court of the United States conspired against Trump to get him out of office. The justices include his three appointees (whom he assumed were in his pocket) and three other conservative justices. No, wait: The Court has denied Donald’s two challenges by unanimous votes.
The Department of Justice conspired against Trump to get him out of office by allowing the deep-state election-theft campaign to proceed unimpeded. The DOJ is led by Trump’s hand-picked lackey Attorney General William Barr who has been seen universally, consistently as improperly acting as Donald’s personal lawyer and defender. No, wait: After authorizing several improper investigations in the hopes of helping the president’s reelection, AG Barr announced Dec. 1 that the DOJ has “not seen fraud on a scale that could have effected a different outcome in the election.”
The Republican leadership in the important swing state of Georgia conspired to keep Trump out of office by rigging the election for Democrat Joe Biden. Georgia’s governor is Brian Kemp, a Trump ultra-loyalist since Inauguration Day, who was especially helpful with the president’s mendacious and deadly plan to downplay the pandemic. No, wait: After two hand recounts and an absentee ballot signature audit, Gov. Kemp and well-respected GOP Secretary of State Brad Raffensperger declared their state’s election results dead-accurate and beyond reproach.
The Department of Homeland Security allowed the deep state to rig the election for Biden. No, wait: Trump appointee Chris Krebs, director of the Cybersecurity and Infrastructure Security Agency (a branch of the DHS), authorized a statement saying the 2020 presidential election was “the most secure in American history. … There is no evidence that any voting system deleted or lost votes, changed votes, or was in any way compromised.”
The FBI looked the other way. The CIA took a nap. Senate Republicans were weak. Wisconsin and Michigan election board members all risked their careers and freedom:
“We’re stealing the election from Trump. You in?”
“Stealing the election from Trump? I could go to prison. I’d risk my entire career. And I REALLY like Trump. But you’re right, it’s just too good. I’m in. Pass it along.”
Even Pat Robertson Says You Live in an Alternate Reality
Donald Trump has no bottom. He has no integrity, no morality, no humanity. He will destroy the country if it benefits him. Or he will destroy the country out of spite. He respects no world other than his own, hence Pat’s “alternate reality” assessment. And now Mr. Trump is the lowest form of human scum on Earth (per his dad): a loser.
We could hope that fear of further embarrassment might force him to do the right thing. Arguably two of his biggest, strongest supporting entities have told him it’s time to go.
“I think it’s all over. I think the Electoral College has spoken. … I don’t think the Supreme Court is going to move in to do anything. And I think we’re going to see a President Biden. … With all [Mr. Trump’s] talents and the ability to raise money and draw large crowds, the president still lives in an alternate reality. He really does. People say he lies about this, that, and the other. But no, he doesn’t lie. To him, that’s the truth: ‘He had the biggest crowd on Inauguration Day, he had more people than ever.’ … ‘He saved NBC with “The Apprentice”.’ You go down the line of things that really aren’t true. … He’s very erratic. … And I think it would be well to say, ‘You’ve had your day, and it’s time to move on.’”
(Robertson, Pat, televangelist; CBN’s The 700 Club; 12/21/2020.) (Pat Robertson has been a staunch Trump supporter, saying the president was put in office by God)
New York Post:
“Mr. President, it’s time to end this dark charade. … Unfortunately, you’re obsessed with … Jan. 6, when Congress will, in a pro forma action, certify the Electoral College vote. You have tweeted that, as long as Republicans have ‘courage,’ they can overturn the results and give you four more years in office. In other words, you’re cheering for an undemocratic coup.
“You had every right to investigate the election. But let’s be clear: Those efforts have found nothing. To take just two examples: Your campaign paid $3 million for a recount in two Wisconsin counties, and you lost by 87 more votes. Georgia did two recounts of the state, each time affirming Biden’s win. These ballots were counted by hand, which alone debunks the claims of a Venezuelan vote-manipulating Kraken conspiracy.
“Sidney Powell [one of your top election attorneys] is a crazy person. Michael Flynn [your former National Security Adviser and convicted Mueller investigation felon] suggesting martial law is tantamount to treason. It is shameful.”
(Post Editorial Board; “The Post Says: Give It Up, Mr. President — for Your Sake and the Nation’s”; New York Post; 12/27/2020.) (the New York Post was one of the first newspapers to endorse Trump and has been a staunch supporter)
Even the New York Post says your top advisers’ advice in supporting your “undemocratic coup” is “crazy” and “tantamount to treason.”
Even Pat Robertson says you “live in an alternate reality.” Even Pat says, “it’s all over.” ■
02/06/2020 — U.S.: 1 | World: 620
12/31/2020 — U.S.: 342,414 | World: 1,807,866
Conservatively estimated Trump malfeasance deaths: 171,207 (50% of total U.S. deaths)*
The United States accounts for 4.2% of Earth’s population, 19% of world COVID-19 deaths.*
“PARDONS: Trump Pardons 26 More: Paul Manafort, Charles Kushner, Roger Stone, Police Brutality Felons, Corruption Felons; Almost all Are Corrupt Republicans Trump Relates To” (12/23/2020)
“PARDONS: Trump Slate of Pardons Panned as Sleaziest, Most Corrupt in History; Pardons Dangled for Silence, Then Followed Through on, May Turn out to Be Illegal, Unconstitutional” (12/23/2020)
“Trump Retreats to Mar-a-Lago, Plays Golf Most Days, May Not Return to Washington” (12/23/2020)
“Christmas Day Lone Wolf RV Suicide Bombing in Nashville; White Resident Identified, No Known Motive, No Other Deaths so Far; 3 Downtown Blocks Destroyed, Communications Out” (12/25/2020)
“After Threatening Stimulus Bill ($600/Person) Veto for 3 Days, Trump Signs, Gets Nothing in Return Except Subject Changed From Election, Corruption; Still Delayed UI Benefits for Millions” (12/27/2020)
“PANDEMIC: 100K Deaths Since Election Day; Trump Still MIA on Dealing w/ all Aspects” (12/28/2020)
“House Overrides Trump Defense Bill Veto” (12/28/2020)
“House Passes Stimulus Pymt. Trump Wanted ($2,000/Person), Puts Pressure on Senate” (12/28/2020)
“Rep. Louie Gohmert (R-TX) et al. Sue VP Mike Pence to Not Accept Swing State Electors (Thus, Declaring Trump Winner) at Final Congressional EC Vote Certification Jan. 6, as Required by Law” (12/28/2020)
“Trump Pentagon, Other Depts. Obstructing Biden Transition, Endangering Nat’l Security” (12/28/2020)
“PANDEMIC: 1st U.S. Case of Highly Infectious Coronavirus Variant Detected in Colorado” (12/29/2020)
“PANDEMIC: Trump Blaming States for Incompetent, Slow Vaccine Rollout” (12/29/2020)
“ELECTION: Sen. Josh Hawley (R-MO) Will Object to Jan. 6 EC Pro Forma Certification, Backing Trump Election-Fraud Lies, Defying Leader McConnell (R-KY) Who Doesn’t Want GOP on Record” (12/30/2020)
“PANDEMIC: 1-Day Record Set, Again, for Deaths (3,400+), Hospitalizations” (12/30/2020)
“PANDEMIC: 2nd U.S. Case of Highly Infectious Coronavirus Variant Detected in California” (12/29/2020)
“Even Newt Gingrich (R-GA) Says McConnell (R-KY) Should Allow $2,000/Person Vote” (12/30/2020)
“PANDEMIC: U.S. Has 4.2% of World Population, 19% of World COVID-19 Deaths” (12/31/2020)
“PANDEMIC: U.S./World: 19.7M/82.8M Cases; 342.4K/1.8M Deaths; 8:45 a.m. ET” (12/31/2020)
*(Redlener, Irwin, MD, Columbia University National Center for Disaster Preparedness director; MSNBC’s Deadline: White House; 10/1/2020.) (Gupta, Vin, MD, MPA, MSc, University of Washington Institute for Health Metrics and Evaluation professor, global health policy expert; “Dr. Vin Gupta: 70% of Lives Could Have Been Saved if Trump Acted on COVID-19 Earlier”; MSNBC.com; 9/23/2020.) (Glanz, James & Robertson, Campbell; “Lockdown Delays Cost at Least 36,000 Lives, [Columbia University] Data Show”; The New York Times; 5/20/2020.) (as conservatively extrapolated from COVID-19 Dashboard by the Center for Systems Science and Engineering at Johns Hopkins University; 11/12/2020.)
Trump Corruption Chronicles — We Must Never Forget
Trump-Ukraine Impeachment Inquiry Report — House Intelligence Committee
Trump-Ukraine Call, July 25, 2019 — Rough Transcript
Whistleblower Complaint — Regarding Trump-Ukraine
Mueller Report — Intros and Executive Summaries
Mueller Report — Complete
Trump-Russia Timeline (Bill Moyers)