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From Dysfunction to Resilience: A Good Road to Travel © Tom Ersin 2025. This is the current installment from the serialized publication of this distinctive self-help book.

Front Matter

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Choose veracity.

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Also by This Writer

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The Author

Tom Ersin has been a full-time health and well-being writer/editor since 2010 and holds degrees in communications and counseling. He’s a former Certified Alcohol and Drug Counselor (CADC) and mental health professional with inpatient and outpatient experience in the fields of clinical therapy and chemical dependency treatment. He has a comprehensive familiarity with both sides of the counselor-client relationship within individual, couples, and family therapy. And he has a (good) dog named Bob Barker. Email him at tom@graniteword.com.
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Please Make This Author Happy

I hope you benefit from reading this book as I did writing it. I’d be forever appreciative if you would post a review on Amazon. Just a sentence or two and a rating would be great. Reviews are lifeblood for authors and they help readers find my books. (https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0BR2QRL17)

Thanks a lot,
Tom
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FROM DYSFUNCTION TO RESILIENCE:

A Good Road to Travel

Tom Ersin

GraniteWord.com

Troy, Michigan
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From Dysfunction to Resilience: A Good Road to Travel © 2025 Tom Ersin. All rights reserved. GraniteWord.com retains the right to reprint. Permission to reprint must be obtained from the author, who owns the copyright.

Print Edition ISBN: 9798370845970
Written and edited by Tom Ersin (tom@graniteword.com)
Printed in the United States of America
Front Cover Photo: David Mceachan/Pexels.com
Cover Design by: Tom Ersin
20250901
GraniteWord.com
Troy, Michigan
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Dedicated to breaking the cycle.
Take what you can use and leave the rest.

Isn’t it a pity?
Now isn’t it a shame?
How we break each other’s hearts, and cause each other pain
How we take each other’s love, without thinking anymore
Forgetting to give back
Isn’t it a pity?

(— George Harrison) 
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TABLE OF CONTENTS

Prologue

[Part A] DYSFUNCTIONAL FAMILIES

I. Introduction to Dysfunction

1. Codependency as a Product of Dysfunctional Families

  • What a Co-Dependent Is
  • What Codependency Is
  • Where It Came From
  • Attributes
  • Family Rules and Coping Methods
  • Other Signs and Symptoms
  • Family Roles
  • Attributes Extend to any Repressive Family

2. The Big 5 Shared Symptoms of Principals and Family Members

  • Denial
  • Repressed Feelings
  • Compulsive Behavior
  • Low Self-Esteem
  • Medical Problems
  • ESSAY: So — You’re Still Smoking?

3. Recovery

  • Education
  • Avoid Isolation
  • Refuse to Enable
  • Seek Help
  • Interventions for Chemical Dependency

4. Recap

  • Primary Points
  • How Families Begin Recovery

5. Readers’ Questions

  • Tough Love
  • Extended Families
  • Chemical Dependency Counseling
  • Addiction Gene (or Not)
  • Repressive Marriage
  • Rageaholic Parent
  • Good Childhood, Antisocial Adulthood
  • Always Room for Self-Improvement

6. Resources for Help

  • Hotlines
  • For Individuals With Substance Use Disorder
  • For Family and Friends
  • General Information

[Part B] RESILIENCE

I. Introduction to Resilience

7. Resilience 101

  • Basic Idea
  • Other Quotations
  • How to Build Resilience

8. Keys to Resilience

  • Bounce Back-Ability
  • Lack of Resilience
  • Components of Resilience

9. Life Experiences

  • Where Does Resilience Come From?
  • Possible In-Need Populations – Childhood Issues
  • Possible In-Need Populations – Other Trauma Victims
  • Possible In-Need Populations – Everyone Else

10. Dysfunctional Family Review

  • Definition
  • The Big 5 Characteristics
  • Comes in Many Forms
  • ESSAY: Malignant Lie, the Bane of Humankind

11. Building Resilience

  • Children and Adolescents
  • Emotional Intelligence
  • Outward Bound-Type Programs
  • Support Groups
  • 12 Step Considerations
  • Counseling, Psychotherapy

12. Adaptability

  • Acceptance
  • Balance
  • Compromise
  • Conflict Resolution
  • Creativity
  • Flexibility
  • Listening

13. Goal-Setting and Achievement

  • Belief in Yourself
  • Persistence
  • Perseverance
  • Planning
  • Problem-Solving
  • SMART Goals

14. Healthy Mind and Emotions

  • Attitude of Gratitude
  • Humor
  • Positivity, Well-Being, and Life Meaning
  • Strength of Character, Values
  • Healthy Mind Lifestyle Components

15. Optimism

  • Affirmation No. 1
  • Affirmation No. 2
  • Adapt With Enthusiasm
  • Engage in Life and Challenges
  • Informed Hopeful Outlook
  • Don’t Catastrophize

16. Relationships

  • Harvard Happiness Study
  • Elements of Good Relationships
  • Connected to Community
  • Volunteering — The Concept
  • Volunteering — Psychic Benefits
  • Volunteering — Health Benefits
  • Get Moving

17. Self-Confidence

  • Facing Fear, Leaving Your Comfort Zone
  • Acceptance of/by Others
  • Moral Compass
  • Purpose and Meaning
  • Self-Image and Self-Acceptance
  • Self-Esteem: Trust Your Talents
  • Self-Sufficiency
  • Spirituality and Faith

18. Self-Control: Thinking, Feeling, Doing

  • Critical Thinking
  • IBATR: Practical Critical Thinking in Communication
  • Thoughts and Coping — Feeling in Control
  • Identifying, Controlling Feelings
  • Emotional Health
  • Behavior
  • ESSAY: Absence of Critical Thinking Is Harmful to Children and Other Living Things

19. Self-Improvement

  • Altruism
  • De-Victimization
  • Learning and Growing
  • Organizational Skills / Focus
  • Positive Role Models
  • Resilience Thinking
  • Self-Care
  • Strengths-Building
  • Taking Responsibility (for One’s Own Life)
  • “Every Problem Is an Opportunity in Disguise”

20. Stress Management

  • Basic Good Habits
  • Keys for Minimizing Stress
  • Worry-Reduction Techniques
  • Other Tips for Minimizing Worry
  • Affirmations
  • Hobbies
  • Simple Breathing Exercise
  • Journaling
  • Movement
  • Meditation
  • ESSAY: Chronic Stress and the Love of a Good Dog

21. Resilience Development in Action

  • Albert Ellis’ ABC Model
  • Cognitive Distortions (False Negative Thinking)
  • Cognitive Restructuring
  • Keep Growth on the Mind
  • Highly Resilient Qualities
  • Highly Resilient Qualities at Work

22. Notes to the Boss

  • Mind-Body Problem (and Solution)
  • Workplace Positivity
  • Troubleshooting Employee (and Employer) Disengagement

Epilogue

  • The Author
  • End Notes (by Chapter)
  • References (Alphabetical)


[Tom Ersin holds degrees in communications and counseling. He’s examined long-term dysfunction from both sides of the counselor-client relationship and from within his own nuclear and extended families.] Click here to purchase book. Please leave a rating.