Introduction to Dysfunctional Families

From Dysfunction to Resilience: A Good Road to Travel © Tom Ersin 2023. This is the current installment from the serialized publication of this distinctive self-help book.

Introduction to Dysfunctional Families

This section, Part A, describes how dysfunction in a family affects its members. It often originates with a parent or guardian who perpetuates one or more of the following:

• Alcoholism or other chemical dependency (aka alcohol use disorder or other substance use disorder)
• Other addiction/compulsion (gambling, food, sex, etc.)
• Abandonment or neglect
• Abuse (physical, sexual, mental)
• Anger and rage issues
• Hyper rigid household rules
• Toxic (and/or persistent) criticism and guilt-tripping
• Lack of boundaries
• Other emotional abuse
• Lack of closeness and intimacy
• Mental health issues such as clinical depression, sociopathy (antisocial behavior) or other personality disorder, or other condition

In cases of blatant emotional or physical abuse, there’s often an enabling partner who seems to have allowed it, which can cause children to believe the dysfunction is their fault.

Each experience as a result of growing up in these types of environments is known as an adverse childhood experience, aka an ACE.

“Adverse childhood experiences (ACEs) are potentially traumatic events that occur in childhood. … Toxic stress from ACEs can change brain development and affect how the body responds to stress. ACEs are linked to chronic health problems, mental illness, and substance misuse in adulthood.” ^0-1

(— Centers for Disease Control and Prevention)

More ACEs in a person’s history equates to a higher ACE score. This translates to potentially more dysfunctional behavior, impaired life-coping abilities, and physical health problems (due to persistently high levels of stress as a child).

Growing up with dysfunction — which goes beyond simply too many arguments, common communication problems, and occasional disrespect in the home — can cause lifelong mental health and emotional issues along with physical disorders caused by extreme chronic (long-term) stress. You’ll learn what is effective and ineffective in helping your loved one who perpetuates the principal damaging conduct. You’ll learn how to take care of yourself, even if your loved one won’t seek help. If children are involved, you’ll learn how to help them deal with the effects.

Seek education and support for yourself if you have a family member or other loved one who has exhibited persistent dysfunctional behavior. Whether or not that person wants or gets help, you’ll learn what you can do to help yourself. If you grew up with a parent or guardian who was that member, learn how to break the cycle, get yourself well, and raise children to go out into the world without the emotional baggage you had.■

[Tom Ersin holds degrees in communications and counseling. He’s examined long-term dysfunction from both sides of the counselor-client relationship and from within his own nuclear and extended families.] Click here to purchase book. Please leave a rating.